Obituary for Stella Charlotte Koch (Doty)
Stella Charlotte Koch (nee Doty)
Our mother passed peacefully and without pain on Saturday, February 24, 2024. She was born in Gladstone Manitoba on April 24, 1928, and lived a long life passing just two months before her 96th birthday. She waited to pass until we had all gathered and she could tell us one last time just how much she loved us. Some of us didn’t arrive in time to hear it from her voice, but with squeezes of her hands.
She spent her childhood in Westbourne Manitoba and when we visited there the neighbours would tell us tales of her beautiful voice as she did her chores and share what a truly good and kind girl she had been. When she was 16, she quit school to lessen the financial burden on her family, and to send money home each month. She worked in Winnipeg for a few years and her older sibling (Polly) moved out west to Three Hills, Alberta. When Mom was 18, Aunt Polly’s boss was looking for help. He offered Mom a job and paid her way to Three Hills, promising that if Mom was unhappy there, he would pay for her way back home. She happily made it there, although the bus company tried to send her to Two Hills. Fortunately, Mom insisted there was a Three Hills that the bus could get to. And that is how she became an Albertan. We think she was in Three Hills working for a few months when her boss needed her to fill a shift in Trochu, and that was the start of who we would become. She met our father (Eddie) in September, was engaged in December and married in February. Our father was a farmer in his core, so Mom was his partner in everything that happened. They lived a quiet life sharing times with neighbours and friends. They travelled in their later years and made friends everywhere they went. You always knew if you stopped at their place there was a pot of coffee and a piece of cake or sandwiches if it happened to be lunchtime. As well as always having a warm welcome for anyone stopping by, our mother also had a personal philosophy summed up in an inspirational saying that she recited every morning and every night.
”Whatever is good and true in my thoughts;
whatever is beautiful and joyful in my soul;
whatever is courageous in my actions;
whatever is faithful and understanding in my heart;
these are gifts from my mom”
In addition, she recited her morning mantra while sitting on the edge of her bed:
“Outside my window a new day I see
And only I can determine what kind of day it will be
It can be busy and sunny, laughing and gay
Or boring and cold unhappy and gray
My own state of mind is the determining key
For I am only the person I let myself be
I can be thoughtful and do all I can to help
Or be selfish and think just of myself
I can enjoy what I do and make it seem fun
Or gripe and complain and make it hard on someone
I can be patient with those who may not understand
Or belittle and hurt them as much as I can
But I have faith in myself and believe what I say
I personally intend to make the best of each day
She also had it pasted on a plate along with a picture of her mother. Allowing for the fact that as humans we can’t live up to our intentions all of the time, for the most part our mom lived this way.
She lived her last nine years in Calgary where she developed a stronger relationship with Carrie, and Carrie sacrificed many hours each week to see to her needs and wants. In those nine years she made friends in the three places she lived. First independently, then to assisted living and finally to long term care. She was fiercely independent and right to the end she took care of all of her personal needs. And not surprisingly had strong connections very soon after moving, all the while trying to keep connected to her friends from her last place. Her initial days at each new place were difficult, but she soon strapped on her boots to go and get along. Her last year in long term care had been difficult because she never saw herself as “old”. And most of her “floormates” were less active than she.
A Mom like ours is more than a memory, she is a living presence.
Mom is in the meals we prepare, the kindnesses we share,
in the love that we give and each moment we live.
She’s the light in our day, in the games that we play,
and the warmth that we feel and in everything real.
The privilege that we had in learning how to live through our mother’s example means that we all carry a piece of Mom in our hearts and therefore she has not left us, as she walks with us every day, unseen, unheard but always so near, so loved, truly missed and very dear to us. But it was time for her to go and play cards with Dad. He’s been waiting a long 36 years.
Stella leaves some old friends and new friends to remember her as well as many family, Agnes and Bev, Shirley and Bob, Carrie and Mel, and Darlene; Grandchildren, Heather (Chris), Jennie, Mac (Sherri Lynn) , Ryan (Predeceased) Tara (Nathan), Lyndsey, Kyla (Mike), and Krystyn (John); Great Grandchildren Megan, Dreah, Dakotah, Abby, Cydney, Ethan, Maddison, Liam, Ryan, Eddie, Charlie, Arlee, William, and Emily; Great Great Grandchildren, Gracie, Rayne, Carter, and Winnie. She was predeceased by her husband, Eddie Koch; grandson, Ryan Corrie; and her companion, Robert Metzger.
To view and share photos, condolences and memories of Stella with the family, please visit www.choicememorial.com.
Our mother passed peacefully and without pain on Saturday, February 24, 2024. She was born in Gladstone Manitoba on April 24, 1928, and lived a long life passing just two months before her 96th birthday. She waited to pass until we had all gathered and she could tell us one last time just how much she loved us. Some of us didn’t arrive in time to hear it from her voice, but with squeezes of her hands.
She spent her childhood in Westbourne Manitoba and when we visited there the neighbours would tell us tales of her beautiful voice as she did her chores and share what a truly good and kind girl she had been. When she was 16, she quit school to lessen the financial burden on her family, and to send money home each month. She worked in Winnipeg for a few years and her older sibling (Polly) moved out west to Three Hills, Alberta. When Mom was 18, Aunt Polly’s boss was looking for help. He offered Mom a job and paid her way to Three Hills, promising that if Mom was unhappy there, he would pay for her way back home. She happily made it there, although the bus company tried to send her to Two Hills. Fortunately, Mom insisted there was a Three Hills that the bus could get to. And that is how she became an Albertan. We think she was in Three Hills working for a few months when her boss needed her to fill a shift in Trochu, and that was the start of who we would become. She met our father (Eddie) in September, was engaged in December and married in February. Our father was a farmer in his core, so Mom was his partner in everything that happened. They lived a quiet life sharing times with neighbours and friends. They travelled in their later years and made friends everywhere they went. You always knew if you stopped at their place there was a pot of coffee and a piece of cake or sandwiches if it happened to be lunchtime. As well as always having a warm welcome for anyone stopping by, our mother also had a personal philosophy summed up in an inspirational saying that she recited every morning and every night.
whatever is beautiful and joyful in my soul;
whatever is courageous in my actions;
whatever is faithful and understanding in my heart;
these are gifts from my mom”
In addition, she recited her morning mantra while sitting on the edge of her bed:
“Outside my window a new day I see
And only I can determine what kind of day it will be
It can be busy and sunny, laughing and gay
Or boring and cold unhappy and gray
My own state of mind is the determining key
For I am only the person I let myself be
I can be thoughtful and do all I can to help
Or be selfish and think just of myself
I can enjoy what I do and make it seem fun
Or gripe and complain and make it hard on someone
I can be patient with those who may not understand
Or belittle and hurt them as much as I can
But I have faith in myself and believe what I say
I personally intend to make the best of each day
She also had it pasted on a plate along with a picture of her mother. Allowing for the fact that as humans we can’t live up to our intentions all of the time, for the most part our mom lived this way.
She lived her last nine years in Calgary where she developed a stronger relationship with Carrie, and Carrie sacrificed many hours each week to see to her needs and wants. In those nine years she made friends in the three places she lived. First independently, then to assisted living and finally to long term care. She was fiercely independent and right to the end she took care of all of her personal needs. And not surprisingly had strong connections very soon after moving, all the while trying to keep connected to her friends from her last place. Her initial days at each new place were difficult, but she soon strapped on her boots to go and get along. Her last year in long term care had been difficult because she never saw herself as “old”. And most of her “floormates” were less active than she.
Mom is in the meals we prepare, the kindnesses we share,
in the love that we give and each moment we live.
She’s the light in our day, in the games that we play,
and the warmth that we feel and in everything real.
The privilege that we had in learning how to live through our mother’s example means that we all carry a piece of Mom in our hearts and therefore she has not left us, as she walks with us every day, unseen, unheard but always so near, so loved, truly missed and very dear to us. But it was time for her to go and play cards with Dad. He’s been waiting a long 36 years.
Stella leaves some old friends and new friends to remember her as well as many family, Agnes and Bev, Shirley and Bob, Carrie and Mel, and Darlene; Grandchildren, Heather (Chris), Jennie, Mac (Sherri Lynn) , Ryan (Predeceased) Tara (Nathan), Lyndsey, Kyla (Mike), and Krystyn (John); Great Grandchildren Megan, Dreah, Dakotah, Abby, Cydney, Ethan, Maddison, Liam, Ryan, Eddie, Charlie, Arlee, William, and Emily; Great Great Grandchildren, Gracie, Rayne, Carter, and Winnie. She was predeceased by her husband, Eddie Koch; grandson, Ryan Corrie; and her companion, Robert Metzger.
To view and share photos, condolences and memories of Stella with the family, please visit www.choicememorial.com.